Why Christian Men Hesitate Seeking Help to Develop Their Leadership Skills

Leadership is a calling, especially for Christian men who feel the weight of responsibility in their workplaces, churches, and homes. Yet, many Christian men struggle to seek help in developing their leadership skills, even when they feel stuck, overwhelmed, or ineffective. Why is that? Here are some of my thoughts:

1. The Fear of Appearing Weak

Many Christian men are raised with the idea that strong leaders should have all the answers, or that Gid does, so they don’t need to ask for help. Yes, God has all the answers..BUT, He’s not going to do for us what he’s already given us the ability to do. In this case, ask for help.

Admitting that we need help—or even that we don’t know what to do—can feel like weakness. In reality, true strength comes from humility. Proverbs 11:14 reminds us, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” Seeking help is not a sign of failure; it’s a sign of wisdom! How smart are you?

2. A Misunderstanding of Self-Sufficiency

Christian men often embrace the idea that they should be self-sufficient, relying on God and their own determination to figure things out. While faith and perseverance are crucial, God never intended leadership to be a solo journey. Even Moses needed Jethro’s advice (Exodus 18:17-24) to lead effectively. Jesus surrounded Himself with disciples, modeling the importance of community and mentorship. Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future (future blog post on this coming).

3. A Lack of Trust in Christian Coaching

Many leadership development programs focus on secular strategies, and Christian men may feel hesitant to embrace leadership advice that doesn’t align with their faith. We worry that coaching will push us toward productivity and profitability over servanthood or compromise their values. However, Christ-centered leadership development exists to help men grow while staying rooted in their faith and integrity.

4. The Burden of Expectations

Men in Christian leadership—whether in business, church, or family—often feel pressure to have it all together. Especially if you’re a pastor. Regardless, the thought of seeking help can feel like admitting failure, especially if we believe others are relying on us. But even David, a man after God’s own heart, had counselors and advisors who helped him navigate leadership challenges. Seeking growth doesn’t diminish credibility; it enhances it.

5. A Culture That Doesn’t Prioritize Personal Growth

In many Christian circles, leadership development isn’t talked about enough. Most go through their entire schooling and never take a solid leadership course. Men are encouraged to lead their families and communities but are rarely given the tools to do so effectively. Without intentional mentorship, training, or coaching, they may not even know where to begin. Churches and workplaces must foster a culture where personal and leadership growth are seen as essential, not optional.

Breaking the Cycle: Embracing Growth in Leadership

Congrats on reading this far! If you’re a Christian man who has hesitated to seek leadership development, remember this: God calls us to grow. Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Seeking guidance, mentorship, or coaching doesn’t make you less of a leader—it makes you a better one.

Stepping into leadership with humility and a willingness to grow will not only transform your leadership but also positively impact those you serve. The best leaders are those who never stop learning, and the strongest men are those who seek wisdom.

If you’re ready to take your leadership to the next level, consider our partnership in helping you grow as a leader, joining a community of like-minded men pursuing growth. Leadership is a journey, not a destination—a journey you were created to thrive in. Let us help!